I am glad that I have friends. Friends that I know won't desert me when I am down. I called Antione a few days ago and left him a message about my current situation, and he got back to me today. It's interesting that when we come together in conversation we always end up with new perspectives and insight into who God really is.
"God is obligated to help us, because we are his children," Antione said. "He takes care of us just like any other parent." True, though some of us will continually doubt His presence or blame His goodness on chance. This is because there is and always will be evil in this world. Unfortunately, that is how the balance is maintained. Without one, there would be no reason for the other.
Antione spoke to me about the time he had to trust God to move to Maryland. I had not heard him speak on this much before, but it was a marvelous example of who and what God is for us all. He had to go to Philly for an interview, but he had no place to stay, no money for a flight...yet God provided all. People who knew him and the person he was gave him money to go. Our mutual friend Jeri, who was staying in Philly at the time, even lent him her car while he was there. During that time he was also involved in a retail theft charge, and the State of Illinois wanted to keep him from leaving unless he paid his fine for the theft. He didn't have the money, but his friend Adam sent it to him, no questions asked. God provided a way, though he was thwarted at each step.
Trusting what God can do, and what He has for us in the future can be hard. I came out here to the Northwest in order to find a better life for myself. I had no place to stay, limited money and no job. I just came out here believing where I needed to be, and what I wanted out of my life. And God worked a miracle for me. You will read all of these posts and find that something will stir a familiarity in your soul. Somethings will be so similar that you will want to ask me how I overcame it. Yet with God, all things are possible.
Antione has been struggling, just as I have. He has trouble with finances, feeling motivated to study the Word and just issues of inadequacy when it comes to providing for the family he has. I feel for him, and we both know the pain of being alone in our minds, hiding behind pride so that the devil can slip in a take what has been established. We both have mothers with diabetes, which makes us scared and vulnerable when we can't be around. Not to say that everyone has not gone through this, but we all deal differently. I cannot say that something that may seem trivial to me won't be excruciatingly painful for you. We are all different. But it helps when someone can relate to your troubles, and help you along.
Hiding being your pain is always the wrong thing to do. We must go to others to deal with the problems we face. To be a success, we can't give up. We can't call it quits just because the going got tough. I was selfish, yes, but there are lessons that are totally invaluable to be learned here. I find my way, with the Lord by my side, every day.
My friends and I are the "breaks" in our bloodline, as Antione so eloquently puts it. Honestly, we all stand out like like sore thumbs in our families, so unlike everyone that we seem as if we don't belong. Just like Abraham, we were chosen to begin something new, and prosper in new lands.
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