There are things that eat at you. Things that strip away your soul, bit by terrified bit, swallowing it piece by delightful piece. These issues wait for times of weakness, where we feel lost and uncentered. This is when they do the most damage. It's not like we can do anything. We've already primed our lives for the killing stroke: we can only but await the agony that comes with it.
I allow myself to lose a battle that should already have been won. I follow the weak routes of life and gather the softness that cripples me little by little, smoothing the rough edges of my soul that were never meant to be tempered. I am killing my desires, crushing my soul. Bleeding it dry, as the greatest enemy I have ever known. I am living on my knees.
I see men that have taken life and made it but a toy. They revel in it and make it obey them, or so it seems. So it looks. I can't understand the madness as it is, yet they have somehow done much more than I can. They have conquered something and claimed ownership. I find myself becoming a coward.
I am beckoned to a place of majesty, a kingship, that cannot be granted to anyone. It must be snatched or taken. I must prove that I am the one that deserves such glory. I must make this life mine and shape it so that it defines my dreams.
May God see me through. I need His strength to conquer this personalized paralysis. It's a blight, a sickening darkness that clouds my mind and casts a shade over the light in my soul.
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Friday, August 26, 2011
No Reason To Live A Lie
Someone out there has to be tired of living a lie. Tired of feeling empty, following hollow dreams that lead to other types of futility. You have to be fed up with the world and the way it mocks you and scoffs at you. The lies are right in front of our faces, and we just accept them like we're puppets, dancing and shuffling about with a hand up our back. You don't even know who's hand it is, but someone's prodding you along...
Each time you react in anger or cower in fear, that hand is grabbing hold and tossing you about. Everytime you have an argument and hide behind your pride, there's the puppetmaster, moving his fingers and making you do that dance. And you can't even see it, because you think the puppetmaster is you. You think that you're the one with the anger and the fear, yelling and screaming at anything that opposes you. And most of you will defend to the death your right to shout and curse and deliver your opinion upon others in such a way that causes division and separation. You want to be right. You're right and they're wrong.
I'm here to say that it isn't you, but it is that thief of life- your ego- that causes you to become lost to the Truth God has given us. God is the giver of love and not confusion, so these arguments are foolish to him. Your anger and pride is unwarranted. These things are false projections of the ego in an attempt to protect itself. It wants to preserve the illusion. Maybe you can refer to it as the devil or a demon. Either way, it destroys your life from the inside, controlling how you think, what you do and what you say.
There is still time to shift our present state of awareness from one that is fearful, to one that is of love. Jesus asked us to forgive as many times as it takes, no matter the circumstances. We must surrender our foolish thoughts and tendencies in order to enter the truth of love and understanding. We must leave behind the idea that all truth is relative as well, because that is nothing but a precursor to chaos. I tell you there is but one Truth, and it is the beauty of God through love and forgiveness. Surrender your heart to Him, so that He may heal you and so you may heal others.
May God bless you in your journey towards the Truth.
Each time you react in anger or cower in fear, that hand is grabbing hold and tossing you about. Everytime you have an argument and hide behind your pride, there's the puppetmaster, moving his fingers and making you do that dance. And you can't even see it, because you think the puppetmaster is you. You think that you're the one with the anger and the fear, yelling and screaming at anything that opposes you. And most of you will defend to the death your right to shout and curse and deliver your opinion upon others in such a way that causes division and separation. You want to be right. You're right and they're wrong.
I'm here to say that it isn't you, but it is that thief of life- your ego- that causes you to become lost to the Truth God has given us. God is the giver of love and not confusion, so these arguments are foolish to him. Your anger and pride is unwarranted. These things are false projections of the ego in an attempt to protect itself. It wants to preserve the illusion. Maybe you can refer to it as the devil or a demon. Either way, it destroys your life from the inside, controlling how you think, what you do and what you say.
There is still time to shift our present state of awareness from one that is fearful, to one that is of love. Jesus asked us to forgive as many times as it takes, no matter the circumstances. We must surrender our foolish thoughts and tendencies in order to enter the truth of love and understanding. We must leave behind the idea that all truth is relative as well, because that is nothing but a precursor to chaos. I tell you there is but one Truth, and it is the beauty of God through love and forgiveness. Surrender your heart to Him, so that He may heal you and so you may heal others.
May God bless you in your journey towards the Truth.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
The Beautiful Walk
The beauty of life is yours to behold.
On my daily walks I take time to notice everything around me, with reverance and love. With each step I take, there is peace and serenity. I have no problems in these moments. There is no fear. There is only love and the feeling of God all around and within me.
I have taken to the habit of using prayer beads as I walk, holding them in my hands and running my fingers across them, one by one. Slowly I turn them and feel the texture, and I am filled again with peace. It is not even happiness, or joy. Just something greater that I can only truly decribe as serenity. The beads are as a key is to a door: they help to open my heart to God so that I can receive his Word.
My pastor would call this "quiet time". I find the more time I take, the more I desire to be with Him. It seems that time is still in these moments, and I can only give thanks and atone for my sins. These moments are of love and truth, which is the only reality that exists for us. All other things are just lies and fantasies that mar God's instructions for our lives.
Take care to feel His presence daily.
On my daily walks I take time to notice everything around me, with reverance and love. With each step I take, there is peace and serenity. I have no problems in these moments. There is no fear. There is only love and the feeling of God all around and within me.
I have taken to the habit of using prayer beads as I walk, holding them in my hands and running my fingers across them, one by one. Slowly I turn them and feel the texture, and I am filled again with peace. It is not even happiness, or joy. Just something greater that I can only truly decribe as serenity. The beads are as a key is to a door: they help to open my heart to God so that I can receive his Word.
My pastor would call this "quiet time". I find the more time I take, the more I desire to be with Him. It seems that time is still in these moments, and I can only give thanks and atone for my sins. These moments are of love and truth, which is the only reality that exists for us. All other things are just lies and fantasies that mar God's instructions for our lives.
Take care to feel His presence daily.
Friday, August 12, 2011
REVOLVER Revisited
There’s no such thing as problems, Mr. Green. Only situations. – Avi
You only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent. – Mr. Green
The art is for me to feed pieces to you and make you believe you took those pieces…because you’re smarter and I’m dumber.
The more sophisticated the game, the more sophisticated the opponent.
Place your opponent in an arena you can control. The bigger the space, the easier the control. The more that can be controlled.
They either think the game can’t be that old, or it can’t be that big.
The opponent distracts the victim by getting him consumed with his own consumption.
You will always find a good opponent in the very last place you will ever look.
Use any means possible to induce head pain and engage the enemy.
Imagine that you are using a computer. You input commands in order to make the computer do what you want. You create words, play games and even watch movies. You use it as a tool to accomplish everyday tasks. It is just a means to an end.
Our brain is like this computer. We use it to perform tasks. We remember things and our memory serves to help us navigate this world. Whether the task is easy or difficult, we still use our brain to figure out things. It experiences things that we experience. It calculates the changes that we must make in order not to be hurt. The pleasure we feel is recorded. It rides with us. Like our best friend, it is always there with us.
But the brain is not us. The mind is not us. It can never be. It is just a tool, like the computer. It must be used for certain things, and then put away when it is not needed.
For instance, if you become angry at something, it is usually a reaction that has an origin in fear. You become angry because you think someone either meant to offend you or the action bothered you enough to cause you physical distress. Your mind puts up a defense to protect you. It wants to answer in anger, and often does. It wants to react. But if you ask the question, “Why am I angry?” the reaction then becomes a choice. You are then choosing to react to this issue: choosing to become angry or not. In the interest of personal peace, it is probably best to choose peace than anger.
Did you know you had a choice? Would you choose peace over anger? Your mind would have you think that you need to retaliate to hurt those that hurt you. Any perceived offense is a means for the mind to lash out and defend or protect, solidifying our dependence upon it. But the mind is not protecting you. It is protecting itself to keep itself in use. To feed the façade that it actually exists.
What I am trying to tell you is that YOUR MIND IS YOUR ENEMY because ALL YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE ALLOWED IT TO EXIST WITHIN THE FANTASY THAT IT IS YOU. You feed it each day. And each day it becomes stronger.
Learning to see what’s real and what is false is the next step. It is what some people would call enlightenment and the path to God. The knowing that those negative reactions are not truly you, will give you the power to part the veil and see the shame of the world.
Jake Green: "There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others."
You only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent. – Mr. Green
The art is for me to feed pieces to you and make you believe you took those pieces…because you’re smarter and I’m dumber.
The more sophisticated the game, the more sophisticated the opponent.
Place your opponent in an arena you can control. The bigger the space, the easier the control. The more that can be controlled.
They either think the game can’t be that old, or it can’t be that big.
The opponent distracts the victim by getting him consumed with his own consumption.
You will always find a good opponent in the very last place you will ever look.
Use any means possible to induce head pain and engage the enemy.
Imagine that you are using a computer. You input commands in order to make the computer do what you want. You create words, play games and even watch movies. You use it as a tool to accomplish everyday tasks. It is just a means to an end.
Our brain is like this computer. We use it to perform tasks. We remember things and our memory serves to help us navigate this world. Whether the task is easy or difficult, we still use our brain to figure out things. It experiences things that we experience. It calculates the changes that we must make in order not to be hurt. The pleasure we feel is recorded. It rides with us. Like our best friend, it is always there with us.
But the brain is not us. The mind is not us. It can never be. It is just a tool, like the computer. It must be used for certain things, and then put away when it is not needed.
For instance, if you become angry at something, it is usually a reaction that has an origin in fear. You become angry because you think someone either meant to offend you or the action bothered you enough to cause you physical distress. Your mind puts up a defense to protect you. It wants to answer in anger, and often does. It wants to react. But if you ask the question, “Why am I angry?” the reaction then becomes a choice. You are then choosing to react to this issue: choosing to become angry or not. In the interest of personal peace, it is probably best to choose peace than anger.
Did you know you had a choice? Would you choose peace over anger? Your mind would have you think that you need to retaliate to hurt those that hurt you. Any perceived offense is a means for the mind to lash out and defend or protect, solidifying our dependence upon it. But the mind is not protecting you. It is protecting itself to keep itself in use. To feed the façade that it actually exists.
What I am trying to tell you is that YOUR MIND IS YOUR ENEMY because ALL YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE ALLOWED IT TO EXIST WITHIN THE FANTASY THAT IT IS YOU. You feed it each day. And each day it becomes stronger.
Learning to see what’s real and what is false is the next step. It is what some people would call enlightenment and the path to God. The knowing that those negative reactions are not truly you, will give you the power to part the veil and see the shame of the world.
Jake Green: "There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others."
Monday, August 1, 2011
We May Fail, but God Does Not!
Psalm 73:25-26
A psalm of Asaph.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.(NIV)
Other than self, we have nothing but God to rely upon. We alone are responsible for what we do here, on Earth, so no one else can be held accountable once we have been saved by declaring Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
In this verse, we read that though our flesh and heart may fail, we must look to God to strengthen our hearts. Truly we are weak beings, given to lapses in judgement and other moral failings that lead to sin. We must be prayerful and attempt to lead better lives for our own sake. In this way God is glorified, for we serve Him first.
We do these things even as we don't know the outcome, for we have faith in what God will do in the future.
A psalm of Asaph.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.(NIV)
Other than self, we have nothing but God to rely upon. We alone are responsible for what we do here, on Earth, so no one else can be held accountable once we have been saved by declaring Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior.
In this verse, we read that though our flesh and heart may fail, we must look to God to strengthen our hearts. Truly we are weak beings, given to lapses in judgement and other moral failings that lead to sin. We must be prayerful and attempt to lead better lives for our own sake. In this way God is glorified, for we serve Him first.
We do these things even as we don't know the outcome, for we have faith in what God will do in the future.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Equity
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” ~Luke 22:31-32
Here, Jesus is having a conversation with Simon Peter about Satan's proposal to do him harm within his life. Jesus says that he will pray for Simon so that he will not fail. This would normally set one at ease, but Jesus then says "and when you have turned back...". This means that he knows that Simon will fail, but in that failure, he must bring strength to his brothers so that they may not fail.
In our experiences, we are meant to learn. In learning we can give instruction to those who may encounter that which we have already witnessed. Jesus is asking Simon Peter to become a witness to others, so that God is glorified even in the failure.
Many people feel that they should make known all of their accomplishments to show how good God is, but it is in our weaknesses that God shows his strength. It is in our failures that God is given glory, for we can say that we are better than we were. We have gleaned the equity from the situation and can convey the beauty of the lesson to those who would come after us.
Here, Jesus is having a conversation with Simon Peter about Satan's proposal to do him harm within his life. Jesus says that he will pray for Simon so that he will not fail. This would normally set one at ease, but Jesus then says "and when you have turned back...". This means that he knows that Simon will fail, but in that failure, he must bring strength to his brothers so that they may not fail.
In our experiences, we are meant to learn. In learning we can give instruction to those who may encounter that which we have already witnessed. Jesus is asking Simon Peter to become a witness to others, so that God is glorified even in the failure.
Many people feel that they should make known all of their accomplishments to show how good God is, but it is in our weaknesses that God shows his strength. It is in our failures that God is given glory, for we can say that we are better than we were. We have gleaned the equity from the situation and can convey the beauty of the lesson to those who would come after us.
Friday, July 22, 2011
There is no likely sadness more profound that the failure of one's greatest ambition. I find that it is difficult to picture my life cascading towards a world where I cannot do the art I was meant to do.
I saw my best friend's sister today, and she has the same gifts I do. However, she isn't really using them. Sometimes I wonder why she let it go, or if she ever picks up a pencil every now and then. I can't imagine what I'd feel like if I couldn't create. I think I'd rather die than live without my talents. I hope that God sees fit to allow me to keep them so that I can bring blessings to all.
How strange it would be. How strange I would feel. I could only imagine such emptiness. It would be like unplugging a lamp or cutting the petals off of a rose.
I saw my best friend's sister today, and she has the same gifts I do. However, she isn't really using them. Sometimes I wonder why she let it go, or if she ever picks up a pencil every now and then. I can't imagine what I'd feel like if I couldn't create. I think I'd rather die than live without my talents. I hope that God sees fit to allow me to keep them so that I can bring blessings to all.
How strange it would be. How strange I would feel. I could only imagine such emptiness. It would be like unplugging a lamp or cutting the petals off of a rose.
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Through Devotion and Art
Holding on to nothing, I will be able to gain everything...
There are great worlds to visit, through devotion and art. There is God and love, granting light to this dark world. Even so, you cannot escape yourself.
Dealing with the inner man is the only thing that can save you from destruction. It is the only thing that will allow you to embrace God. Releasing your mind from the prison that the world has surrounded you with, will grant change and transformation.
Great worlds to visit. God is waiting on each path, to each world. Through art and devotion I find my way home, creating the steps toward resolution. But you must let go of your pain, release your reliance on worldly things. Discover the impermanence in all, so that you can be free.
There are great worlds to visit, through devotion and art. There is God and love, granting light to this dark world. Even so, you cannot escape yourself.
Dealing with the inner man is the only thing that can save you from destruction. It is the only thing that will allow you to embrace God. Releasing your mind from the prison that the world has surrounded you with, will grant change and transformation.
Great worlds to visit. God is waiting on each path, to each world. Through art and devotion I find my way home, creating the steps toward resolution. But you must let go of your pain, release your reliance on worldly things. Discover the impermanence in all, so that you can be free.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Wisdom: The domain of the wise
I am supposed to be wise. I'm supposed be a better man. A greater "thinker" with above average skills and bright expectations. I'm supposed to be...
What could I do now, that I haven't done? I'm at odds with my self, my heart battling my mind. Always seems that I would let my heart win, but they've fought to a stalemate. Interesting and unnerving all the same, I falsify my ability to disregard and act like I don't care. Trouble is, I do, but not for the same reasons I used to...
Different man. Different meanings. Maybe I am just lost in the trouble I have found myself in. SO BRUTAL.
At least I'm creating again. That makes me extremely happy.
What could I do now, that I haven't done? I'm at odds with my self, my heart battling my mind. Always seems that I would let my heart win, but they've fought to a stalemate. Interesting and unnerving all the same, I falsify my ability to disregard and act like I don't care. Trouble is, I do, but not for the same reasons I used to...
Different man. Different meanings. Maybe I am just lost in the trouble I have found myself in. SO BRUTAL.
At least I'm creating again. That makes me extremely happy.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Trapped in the Matrix
I am hoping most of you have seen the movie, The Matrix. Maybe some of you haven’t seen it, possibly because it is sci-fi and you just don’t dig the genre. Maybe because you just don’t care for Keanu Reeves. Whatever the reason, I recommend it not because of the action, but because of its underlying philosophy. The Matrix challenges us to question the lives we are really living. Are we just sheep lead to the slaughter, walking through life with our heads down simply ignoring the truth of what is going on around us? Can we take charge of our real lives, the REALITY of ourselves, and travel the path towards mental freedom? The red pill or the blue pill? The choice is obvious, if we only recognize what the truth is…
The character Cypher in the movie represented the part of us that would rather accept the façade and live in ignorance of the truth. He betrays the cause that Neo is leading because he can’t deal with the pain that is revealed when the true path is taken. He thinks that living the lie is better. Is that how the majority of the world will feel? Are we so vain and ego-centric that we would prefer the lie over the truth? Sadly I think it is so…
But what happens when we begin to see the truth, and we embrace the hard path that Jesus walked? I have begun to look and recognize the part of myself that is false, and challenge it. Each day I make steps to dismantle my ego thoughts and diffuse them, which is to say, become aware of them. I recognize the ego thoughts that come because they are crazy and full of fear, doubt, sadness and anger. These ego thoughts do nothing but cloud the realness of who we are, and make life much harder to live with those around us.
Why do you think there is so much war and poverty and suffering? We suffer because of our egos and the by-products loosed from their manifestation. Jesus asked us to “die to ourselves” so that we may embrace the path he had taken. This death is refusing what the ego shows us and becoming aware of the veil it has draped over our lives. We must fight ourselves to become ourselves, which is no easy task. Yet it must be done.
Think about all the pain you have dealt with. Have you let it go? Do you still react to it? Does it still cause you to lash out in anger at others? Has it affected your relationships? If it has, then you will need to reevaluate your life and ask God to intercede so that you can let those situations go and forgive. The one thing God says for us to do is to forgive as He has forgiven us, and we will find freedom. Yet, we refuse to live that way. We hold onto it all and bury it down deep till it poisons us and all the relationships in our lives. We must get past this and become better people by recognizing our ego thoughts and challenging them. Those thought do not originate from the real you. The real you is free and clear and beautiful, not bitter and hateful and angry.
Please search your hearts and you will find what I say to be true.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Killing or Murder- Greater Sin or Acceptable in God's Eyes?
Riddle me this, Batman: is killing wrong, or is it murder that is wrong? If we kill some one in self defense, is it still wrong? Does it matter that Jesus said to "turn the other cheek"?
Matthew 5:39 reads: "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."
The words of Jesus Christ. Yet, my father would tell me that killing is ok and murder is not. Jesus doesn't draw a distinction. The 10 Commandments also state that "Thou shalt not kill". So am I to believe that one is more acceptable than the other? Doesn't the Bible say that no sin is greater than another? James 2:10 states that: "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Does this scripture not mean that any sin you commit you are just as culpable as though you broke them all?
If there is someone who can shed greater light on this, go ahead. I would like to know if I am misinterpreting something. My father swears up and down that "murder" is what the Commandments refer to, and not "killing". Once again, Jesus doesn't draw that distinction.
Thoughts?
Matthew 5:39 reads: "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."
The words of Jesus Christ. Yet, my father would tell me that killing is ok and murder is not. Jesus doesn't draw a distinction. The 10 Commandments also state that "Thou shalt not kill". So am I to believe that one is more acceptable than the other? Doesn't the Bible say that no sin is greater than another? James 2:10 states that: "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Does this scripture not mean that any sin you commit you are just as culpable as though you broke them all?
If there is someone who can shed greater light on this, go ahead. I would like to know if I am misinterpreting something. My father swears up and down that "murder" is what the Commandments refer to, and not "killing". Once again, Jesus doesn't draw that distinction.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Dragon
If it then ended, snuffing out
The last of the embers and ash
Working past the present mind and
Collapsing in on a deserted future
I wouldn’t be angry. “I thought you’d be
Different. You were so unlike the others.”
Yet recall your suppositions came before you
Really knew me, hardly knew yourself, not remarkable
And thick-headed enough, your skin soft
And my demeanor rough
The prey and the dragon like a tragedy told
The beautiful maiden, the serpent and gold.
I began free and I leave the same
If you must remember me, forget my name.
The last of the embers and ash
Working past the present mind and
Collapsing in on a deserted future
I wouldn’t be angry. “I thought you’d be
Different. You were so unlike the others.”
Yet recall your suppositions came before you
Really knew me, hardly knew yourself, not remarkable
And thick-headed enough, your skin soft
And my demeanor rough
The prey and the dragon like a tragedy told
The beautiful maiden, the serpent and gold.
I began free and I leave the same
If you must remember me, forget my name.
LIBERATION!
There is hope. There is always hope to become greater and better than one is; to move beyond what you have been to what you can be.
If any of you have ever watched the NBC comedy, “Community”, you may have seen the black guy named Troy. His real name is Donald Glover, and I think he has single handedly restored my faith in my abilities as an artist.
One of my friends (GC lePresh) had me check out someone called “Childish Gambino” and to tell me what I thought about him. Lo and behold, it was Donald Glover’s rapper persona. Seems this guy has been rapping for a few years now, apparently just for fun. What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t even need the money. He just does it because he wants to; because it makes him happy. He has about 3 EPs (one actually named, “EP”) and 3 albums under the Childish Gambino moniker. He also produces beats under the name mcDJ. One of the albums he produced is called “Sick Boi”, in which is raps sounding congested or like he has a cold. How refreshing is that? Who does that? Even more amazing he made it sound dope.
His creativity is what amazes me most. I think I have been stifled so much that I was reaching to be like someone else. Glover is not trying to be anyone, as I see it. It’s more like he is experimenting with what he thinks is cool. He's experimenting with himself. I can really relate to that. And yesterday, as I sat and thought about who Donald was and what he’s done, I again began to believe that I have an ambition that urges to burst forth.
I was trying to paint something to look like him or so and so, and not really expressing the full scope of my creativity. I sat at my easel yesterday tentatively painting and struggling through my newest creation, and I it suddenly became apparent that I was the one in control of the piece. At once I understood that every stroke was completely my own and no one can say that they have done what I did. The work belonged to ME and ONLY ME. In that moment tears welled up in my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably. It was like I had been in a darkened room and someone flipped the light switch on. Such an overwhelming emotion it was, that I stop working and thank God for his insight and love.
Childish Gambino. His free spirit freed my own. I need to thank this dude somehow. I am self-realized and liberated. Now and until I die.
If any of you have ever watched the NBC comedy, “Community”, you may have seen the black guy named Troy. His real name is Donald Glover, and I think he has single handedly restored my faith in my abilities as an artist.
One of my friends (GC lePresh) had me check out someone called “Childish Gambino” and to tell me what I thought about him. Lo and behold, it was Donald Glover’s rapper persona. Seems this guy has been rapping for a few years now, apparently just for fun. What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t even need the money. He just does it because he wants to; because it makes him happy. He has about 3 EPs (one actually named, “EP”) and 3 albums under the Childish Gambino moniker. He also produces beats under the name mcDJ. One of the albums he produced is called “Sick Boi”, in which is raps sounding congested or like he has a cold. How refreshing is that? Who does that? Even more amazing he made it sound dope.
His creativity is what amazes me most. I think I have been stifled so much that I was reaching to be like someone else. Glover is not trying to be anyone, as I see it. It’s more like he is experimenting with what he thinks is cool. He's experimenting with himself. I can really relate to that. And yesterday, as I sat and thought about who Donald was and what he’s done, I again began to believe that I have an ambition that urges to burst forth.
I was trying to paint something to look like him or so and so, and not really expressing the full scope of my creativity. I sat at my easel yesterday tentatively painting and struggling through my newest creation, and I it suddenly became apparent that I was the one in control of the piece. At once I understood that every stroke was completely my own and no one can say that they have done what I did. The work belonged to ME and ONLY ME. In that moment tears welled up in my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably. It was like I had been in a darkened room and someone flipped the light switch on. Such an overwhelming emotion it was, that I stop working and thank God for his insight and love.
Childish Gambino. His free spirit freed my own. I need to thank this dude somehow. I am self-realized and liberated. Now and until I die.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Meditation (Selah)
“Thus meditating you will no longer strive to build yourself up in your prejudices, but, forgetting self, you will remember only that you are seeking the Truth.” - James Allen
I don't know about you, but meditation has become a daily practice. It is part of my daily discipline now because it allows me to focus inward instead of outward, so that I can leave the worries of the day and give myself sometime with God. Truly sitting down and having "quiet time" as my pastor says, is a form of meditation, but I take it a step further. I meditate like a Buddhist would...
I will tell you why. Even though I am a Christian, I find that there are things that can be utilized from all sorts of cultures that are effective tools to foster spiritual growth and development. Meditation is no different. If you recall, Jesus went into the wilderness and was tempted by the devil. What do you think he was doing when the devil came upon him? He was meditating on the Word of God.
Many people may think this is mysticism but I see it as nothing more than a process that invites me to a special relationship with Jesus. To commune with the One True God and feel his presence all around is a fantastic experience!
Check out the book called, Spiritual Liberation by Michael Bernard Beckwith. He gives some pretty good instruction on how to utilize your true being and find peace within God's presence. I can't say I agree with all his points, but I do find much of what he says very useful in growing and maturing spiritually.
If you read Psalms, you will see the word "selah" throughout (71 times to be exact). It likely means, "pause and calmly think on this" or "meditate on this" (it is defined as other things, because it is not a very proper translation in Hebrew). The power of meditation is known in the Bible and throughout the world. Don't be afraid to sit and be quiet for a little bit each day and just give God thanks. I mean, doesn't He deserve that time and appreciation? Don't you deserve to be closer to Him?
Psalms 62:8
"Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."
I don't know about you, but meditation has become a daily practice. It is part of my daily discipline now because it allows me to focus inward instead of outward, so that I can leave the worries of the day and give myself sometime with God. Truly sitting down and having "quiet time" as my pastor says, is a form of meditation, but I take it a step further. I meditate like a Buddhist would...
I will tell you why. Even though I am a Christian, I find that there are things that can be utilized from all sorts of cultures that are effective tools to foster spiritual growth and development. Meditation is no different. If you recall, Jesus went into the wilderness and was tempted by the devil. What do you think he was doing when the devil came upon him? He was meditating on the Word of God.
Many people may think this is mysticism but I see it as nothing more than a process that invites me to a special relationship with Jesus. To commune with the One True God and feel his presence all around is a fantastic experience!
Check out the book called, Spiritual Liberation by Michael Bernard Beckwith. He gives some pretty good instruction on how to utilize your true being and find peace within God's presence. I can't say I agree with all his points, but I do find much of what he says very useful in growing and maturing spiritually.
If you read Psalms, you will see the word "selah" throughout (71 times to be exact). It likely means, "pause and calmly think on this" or "meditate on this" (it is defined as other things, because it is not a very proper translation in Hebrew). The power of meditation is known in the Bible and throughout the world. Don't be afraid to sit and be quiet for a little bit each day and just give God thanks. I mean, doesn't He deserve that time and appreciation? Don't you deserve to be closer to Him?
Psalms 62:8
"Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."
Monday, March 7, 2011
Can't Force It
All the love I wish to know, I have known long enough to know
That deserved love is not earned love and sometimes it won’t show
What you can’t get or don’t want or wish from the other
You can attempt to borrow from the affections of another
You can fuss and cuss, stomp and fight or throw fits
Still won’t be able to get back all that was missed
The love goes on, with or without lips to kiss or hands to hold
Love will sometimes burn itself into your very soul
A sacred scar that you will carry for the length of your years
To be tormented or uplifted, you will not escape the tears
So listen to the words I give, I hope you understand too
Even though you love someone you can’t make them love you.
That deserved love is not earned love and sometimes it won’t show
What you can’t get or don’t want or wish from the other
You can attempt to borrow from the affections of another
You can fuss and cuss, stomp and fight or throw fits
Still won’t be able to get back all that was missed
The love goes on, with or without lips to kiss or hands to hold
Love will sometimes burn itself into your very soul
A sacred scar that you will carry for the length of your years
To be tormented or uplifted, you will not escape the tears
So listen to the words I give, I hope you understand too
Even though you love someone you can’t make them love you.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
The Standing
Something darker than this I've seen
warped bits of a dream
a black man now shamed
once thought of as kings
these days glorified thugs and thieves
like we trying to steal
what was stolen 400 years past
Darker dreams that still persist
where a black family can't be just that
Love and care; all that were wished
Inflated thoughts that have fallen flat
Being a man I am black, so I feel so beside myself
I can't turn back pages lost,
pages burned,
can't read the words to tell you
what I've learned.
Something darker than this I've seen
Oh, now he's a man. "what do you mean?"
I don't know if I do enough, still in between
a woman I love, a promise, a ring
Still can't give you everything.
I fight for a day to be understood
that though I'm black, I certainly ain't hood
I want a love, a life afforded all that I should
but if I didn't fall down how would I know that I stood?
warped bits of a dream
a black man now shamed
once thought of as kings
these days glorified thugs and thieves
like we trying to steal
what was stolen 400 years past
Darker dreams that still persist
where a black family can't be just that
Love and care; all that were wished
Inflated thoughts that have fallen flat
Being a man I am black, so I feel so beside myself
I can't turn back pages lost,
pages burned,
can't read the words to tell you
what I've learned.
Something darker than this I've seen
Oh, now he's a man. "what do you mean?"
I don't know if I do enough, still in between
a woman I love, a promise, a ring
Still can't give you everything.
I fight for a day to be understood
that though I'm black, I certainly ain't hood
I want a love, a life afforded all that I should
but if I didn't fall down how would I know that I stood?
Friday, February 11, 2011
The Book of Law
Joshua 1:8
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth,
but you shall meditate in it day and night,
that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it.
For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. (NKJV)
So here it is. How to be prosperous and successful in good old black and white (or whatever color font you want to view it in, I suppose). This Book of Law is the Bible, and God asks that we meditate on the laws enclosed therein, so that we may receive the best of what he has in store for our lives. Sometimes we operate and live outside of the Laws and we experience hardships. To be honest, we may do good within our lives and still experience tough times. However, it is not guaranteed that we will not fall upon harsh trials; it is a fact of life.
If we meditate on these laws, we will find that our problems are lessened and our stresses alleviated. Since we are in the World, we cannot completely remove ourselves from what happens to others. We are affected by one another as we move about and we have families that we must interact with. Bad things will happen to good people.
To be fully prosperous, we all must come into agreement and follow the laws of the Bible. We are a diverse race and full of opinions and ideas, and we disagree more than agree. Imagine what we could do if we all moved on one accord? But the devil exists and continues to thwart our best intentions, sowing seeds of discord throughout time. We are still suffering for what Adam and Eve did, you know?
Since we can only hope to control our own actions, we must make our own way by doing what God expects, and then our actions can influence others. When others view the example that we set and notice how we prosper because of the laws we follow, we are giving glory to our Lord.
This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth,
but you shall meditate in it day and night,
that you may observe to do according to all that is written in it.
For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success. (NKJV)
So here it is. How to be prosperous and successful in good old black and white (or whatever color font you want to view it in, I suppose). This Book of Law is the Bible, and God asks that we meditate on the laws enclosed therein, so that we may receive the best of what he has in store for our lives. Sometimes we operate and live outside of the Laws and we experience hardships. To be honest, we may do good within our lives and still experience tough times. However, it is not guaranteed that we will not fall upon harsh trials; it is a fact of life.
If we meditate on these laws, we will find that our problems are lessened and our stresses alleviated. Since we are in the World, we cannot completely remove ourselves from what happens to others. We are affected by one another as we move about and we have families that we must interact with. Bad things will happen to good people.
To be fully prosperous, we all must come into agreement and follow the laws of the Bible. We are a diverse race and full of opinions and ideas, and we disagree more than agree. Imagine what we could do if we all moved on one accord? But the devil exists and continues to thwart our best intentions, sowing seeds of discord throughout time. We are still suffering for what Adam and Eve did, you know?
Since we can only hope to control our own actions, we must make our own way by doing what God expects, and then our actions can influence others. When others view the example that we set and notice how we prosper because of the laws we follow, we are giving glory to our Lord.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Wanna Be Rich
1 Timothy 6:17
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor
to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God,
who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. (NIV)
Interesting how this verse actually reflects the inverse of what really appears to be the status quo in the World. We have a lot of arrogant rich people living their lives in abundance but with no real understanding of its implications. Eventually there will come a time when the money will not be enough, the material items will not satisfy and your mind will be unsettled and wary about what actually matters in this world.
There are those pastors who preach “prosperity gospel” about how God does not want his people to be poor or to suffer. However, suffering is a part of life, and is guaranteed to happen. As Christians, it is not something we can avoid. I don’t understand why Pastors stand in the pulpit and tell people that God will make them “prosperous” or “wealthy”. I don’t think material gain is what God was speaking of at all, but that seems to be the context to which they apply the scriptures.
Here is one of many verses about suffering:
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.
Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.” —1 Peter 4:12-14, 16
Do not be fooled by promises of riches that are dependent upon your actions and how much money you give to the church. Leading a “good life” does not guarantee a place in Heaven, only belief in the Savior will set us free. The Bible does say that what is given will be given back to us, but don’t take it out of context. This giving is to be from the heart, not for the hopes of gain in any way. Whoever does so is asking to be condemned.
Be careful folks. Use wisdom to discern your path for yourselves and do not be lead astray by false teachings.
God Bless.
Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor
to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God,
who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. (NIV)
Interesting how this verse actually reflects the inverse of what really appears to be the status quo in the World. We have a lot of arrogant rich people living their lives in abundance but with no real understanding of its implications. Eventually there will come a time when the money will not be enough, the material items will not satisfy and your mind will be unsettled and wary about what actually matters in this world.
There are those pastors who preach “prosperity gospel” about how God does not want his people to be poor or to suffer. However, suffering is a part of life, and is guaranteed to happen. As Christians, it is not something we can avoid. I don’t understand why Pastors stand in the pulpit and tell people that God will make them “prosperous” or “wealthy”. I don’t think material gain is what God was speaking of at all, but that seems to be the context to which they apply the scriptures.
Here is one of many verses about suffering:
“Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery trial when it comes upon you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice insofar as you share Christ's sufferings, that you may also rejoice and be glad when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory and of God rests upon you.
Yet if anyone suffers as a Christian, let him not be ashamed, but let him glorify God in that name.” —1 Peter 4:12-14, 16
Do not be fooled by promises of riches that are dependent upon your actions and how much money you give to the church. Leading a “good life” does not guarantee a place in Heaven, only belief in the Savior will set us free. The Bible does say that what is given will be given back to us, but don’t take it out of context. This giving is to be from the heart, not for the hopes of gain in any way. Whoever does so is asking to be condemned.
Be careful folks. Use wisdom to discern your path for yourselves and do not be lead astray by false teachings.
God Bless.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Don't Swear!
James 5:12
Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear--not by heaven or by earth or
by anything else. All you need to say is a simple "Yes" or "No."
Otherwise you will be condemned. (NIV)
Now this is something interesting! The Bible says that we shouldn't swear at all, or we should be condemned! That means that what the courts do by making people swear to "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" is a mockery and a condemnation for Christians.
We should make our word our bond, so that we do not fall into the trap that is laid for us by the Self, the World and the Devil. I know that I try to keep my word as much as possible, so that I won't have to swear, that I will be believed. See, if you are in the habit of keeping your word, people will believe you and you are your word. We should not be victims of this "swearing" because in the end only the person and God knows what the truth is.
One should be able to walk upright and speak good things so that he doesn't fall into judgment. I am fallible, but a weak man in God's eyes, but he still loves me and expects for me to do his will upon the Earth. Though I have his forgiveness, I should always do what I say so that I am known as a man of my word. Therefore, as they say, my "reputation precedes me".
God bless.
Above all, my brothers and sisters, do not swear--not by heaven or by earth or
by anything else. All you need to say is a simple "Yes" or "No."
Otherwise you will be condemned. (NIV)
Now this is something interesting! The Bible says that we shouldn't swear at all, or we should be condemned! That means that what the courts do by making people swear to "tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth" is a mockery and a condemnation for Christians.
We should make our word our bond, so that we do not fall into the trap that is laid for us by the Self, the World and the Devil. I know that I try to keep my word as much as possible, so that I won't have to swear, that I will be believed. See, if you are in the habit of keeping your word, people will believe you and you are your word. We should not be victims of this "swearing" because in the end only the person and God knows what the truth is.
One should be able to walk upright and speak good things so that he doesn't fall into judgment. I am fallible, but a weak man in God's eyes, but he still loves me and expects for me to do his will upon the Earth. Though I have his forgiveness, I should always do what I say so that I am known as a man of my word. Therefore, as they say, my "reputation precedes me".
God bless.
Monday, January 31, 2011
The Lord is Not Slow
2 Peter 3:9 (New International Version, ©2011)
9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Though we are selfish and oft impatient creatures, we cannot put any demands on His time. He is not some personal genie that answers at our whim. God works in his own way and his own time. Like any good parent, He won’t give you anything that you don’t need and nothing before you’re ready. He may have to take you through a process to get you where you need to go, you know?
We have to repent of our ways first, so that He may honor His promise to us. As long as we acknowledge our problems and lay things bare before Him, He will deliver all that we need. We must totally rely on His Word, and the Word is God.
Don’t worry about time. Instead focus on the present and leave the future to itself. Tomorrow has enough problems of its own. Be devoted followers so that the power you gain is spiritual, that you may overcome the wiles of the World and the Devil. Most importantly, you must overcome the Self image that has been built for years and years of walking around lost on this planet.
God bless.
9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Though we are selfish and oft impatient creatures, we cannot put any demands on His time. He is not some personal genie that answers at our whim. God works in his own way and his own time. Like any good parent, He won’t give you anything that you don’t need and nothing before you’re ready. He may have to take you through a process to get you where you need to go, you know?
We have to repent of our ways first, so that He may honor His promise to us. As long as we acknowledge our problems and lay things bare before Him, He will deliver all that we need. We must totally rely on His Word, and the Word is God.
Don’t worry about time. Instead focus on the present and leave the future to itself. Tomorrow has enough problems of its own. Be devoted followers so that the power you gain is spiritual, that you may overcome the wiles of the World and the Devil. Most importantly, you must overcome the Self image that has been built for years and years of walking around lost on this planet.
God bless.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Walk Humbly
Micah 6:8 (New International Version, ©2010)
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God.
What does it mean to act justly? Is this requirement something that we have forgotten? There is so much injustice in the world, not only to the people, but to the planet. We violate one another and we violate the nature of the world. And if we were humble, we would respect the nature of ourselves and the planet by carefully utilizing our resources so there is something left for our children. Yet we obliterate our legacy by following a self-destructive cycle of capitalism. We continually drill for oil that we have verifiable substitutes for; we conduct obscene research and put impurities into our bodies. Where is our humility, when we all but spit in the face of our Lord?
I pray for strength; true strength, mentally and physically. I find that I am getting older and my body feels more frail than ever. I look for way to combat the issues I face, I can only look towards God. I know I can only count on what He has promised, therefore I try to retain my humility and traverse this planet as a stronger, spiritual being. This is difficult, for there are obstacles in the world that deter you each day from the purpose God has given.
I hope that you all find your way to your own, and cultivate the gifts God has bestowed upon you. Reach out each day and work with them, showing love for God and full appreciation. Love your friends and family; be merciful and forgiving as God forgave us. Bring justice to those that have none, for God has shown us what is good. Be humble and respectfully follow his guidelines.
8 He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly[a] with your God.
What does it mean to act justly? Is this requirement something that we have forgotten? There is so much injustice in the world, not only to the people, but to the planet. We violate one another and we violate the nature of the world. And if we were humble, we would respect the nature of ourselves and the planet by carefully utilizing our resources so there is something left for our children. Yet we obliterate our legacy by following a self-destructive cycle of capitalism. We continually drill for oil that we have verifiable substitutes for; we conduct obscene research and put impurities into our bodies. Where is our humility, when we all but spit in the face of our Lord?
I pray for strength; true strength, mentally and physically. I find that I am getting older and my body feels more frail than ever. I look for way to combat the issues I face, I can only look towards God. I know I can only count on what He has promised, therefore I try to retain my humility and traverse this planet as a stronger, spiritual being. This is difficult, for there are obstacles in the world that deter you each day from the purpose God has given.
I hope that you all find your way to your own, and cultivate the gifts God has bestowed upon you. Reach out each day and work with them, showing love for God and full appreciation. Love your friends and family; be merciful and forgiving as God forgave us. Bring justice to those that have none, for God has shown us what is good. Be humble and respectfully follow his guidelines.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
The Naked Rift
A cold implosion of a heart's wounded beat
bears down on his world spinning the anger like a toy top,
a spiral carrying tears,
throwing them through the air as rain.
Working the sides of his soul, searching the edges
for a secret opening, a hiding place to escape
were his rage is less and his mind sharp
there wouldn't be any reason to reach the black.
He thinks they are laughing, and probably so
staring and shuffling like stewards, coarse
glares that rub off the skin
Creating a naked rift between he and the means.
Have you ever seen a man run from that which he chases,
a route to impatience, a path of mazes too long for all?
Worrying a little, but all never known
A skillfull whelp wanting well to be grown.
bears down on his world spinning the anger like a toy top,
a spiral carrying tears,
throwing them through the air as rain.
Working the sides of his soul, searching the edges
for a secret opening, a hiding place to escape
were his rage is less and his mind sharp
there wouldn't be any reason to reach the black.
He thinks they are laughing, and probably so
staring and shuffling like stewards, coarse
glares that rub off the skin
Creating a naked rift between he and the means.
Have you ever seen a man run from that which he chases,
a route to impatience, a path of mazes too long for all?
Worrying a little, but all never known
A skillfull whelp wanting well to be grown.
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