Daily Devotional: Lacking Faith

Night and day we pray most earnestly that we may see you again and supply what is lacking in your faith.

– 1 Thessalonians 3:10 (NIV)

And in this, I functionally declare that it is sometimes hard to come to people, God's people in church, and see their faces, knowing how foolish I am and have been.  Often, I cower from within, possibly a symptom of a childhood shyness that should have fallen away long ago.  It is my hope that people do think of me, even so, praying that they see me again, with the intense hope that my faith be multiplied due to their diligence and love.

God almighty be thanked, for he brought Jesus low so that we might ascend the heights.  These "heights" are metaphorical only, as the heart of God is neither in the sky nor out in the expanse of space.  God exists in the hearts of men, so that we may expound upon his grace, and illuminate the dark spots of our world.  It is for us to share, so that we supply what is lacking in one another, that we may be made whole in our faith.

Even today, I wished failure upon myself, seeing my meager struggle as an obstacle, and not a blessing. So easy to forget, in times of distress, that God will supply all that I need.  So easy to fall prey to false pity, goaded by foolish pride, crying foul to all around you for your plight.  But the bed is made by you, and you must lie in it.  Accept your struggles as part of life and the result of what has happened in the world as it is, for we are all connected.  Yes, it is true: what you do will affect others, whether adversely or for gain.

I follow you, dear Jesus, for you saved me from myself.  I look to you in my time of trouble and need. so that I might not despair.  

God bless.

Idols

I always find a way. No matter what, I'm never down for long. Life, with its fucking complicated twists and turns can be terribly jarring for the one affixed to the life he leads. Sometimes, you have to give yourself a bit of distance from what your life is in order to see what it can become.

What I mean is that you can't be so attached to everything and be too comfortable to make changes. Sometimes, life won't give you warnings; it will upset your livelihood in a blink. Holding on too much, too tightly, will make letting go that much harder.

There should be no other idols before the one God. We make idols out of those things that usurp God's importance in our lives. If you would rather smoke weed than read the Bible or go to church or if you hold your shoe collection a bit too dear to your heart, then those things have become idols.

Be cautious. You will find it difficult to see the truth of God if you are spending time on things that are inconsequential.

Another day dawns, and I feel like I can conquer the world. Trying these days to immerse myself in my gifts and recapture, better yet, reclaim, my talents.

I've stopped playing video games for the time being, prepping myself for a more glorious life. I can see that God wants something more from me, so I will put myself in a place where I can give my best. It was a long time coming, but I have my hands open to receive.

Who I Am

Cogito. Ergo. Sum.

For I am who I am; my name is my name. I tire of these things, these games I play. I find myself traveling further from who I am. I cannot hide anymore. Where can one run to get away from himself?

Tomorrow begins a new work. A new day where I look forward to building upon the foundation that God gave me. One that is my birthright, and has been passed on through my family.

The artist, I am. The artist I will become. I will find a way.

Astray

It's easy to be lead astray, for the world is full of much temptation. Where we walk, our footsteps are heard, and impressions are made. Even as we are oblivious to much, many are watching.

The corridors have traps and the road welcomes tribulation. Situation after situation will challenge us, hurt us or mend our broken hearts. We may not be ready, but life moves forward, regardless of what we believe or want.

In all things, God remains. Wherefore you tread, He is present. So, if you are lead astray, look to your soul, your inner man, for guidance and God will answer.

I walk a tough road, and receive correction at every step. I am hearing God speak, but I pray for better interpretation. Maybe my footsteps drown out His voice.

Much Illumination

Starting over has been...challenging. Seems I've come full circle.

Much illumination comes with frustrating circumstances. When the lights are turned on, they often reveal things we aren't ready to see, things that we never even knew were there in the first place.  Surprises.

I shake my head at it.  Seems insurmountable sometimes.  Still, I do not lose heart.  Even as the doors are slammed in my face, I look for the lesson in it all.  I placed myself here, believing in what God can do when you rely and believe in Him.  Therefore, I have no choice but to trust in His plan and let him guide my steps.

My last interview was at NORC, the National Opinion Research Center.  I interviewed for one of their service desk positions.  They declined to offer me a job because I didn't have enough Active Directory experience.  Fair enough.  But it was a great interview, nonetheless.

God bless the downtrodden.

The Staircase

Ascending the steps of winding staircase, its warm carmel wood shown worn smooth, years of slender caress made it so, I begin to slow my pace.  I pause and look up, the steps creaking with my weight, and I wonder what is there, higher on.

What causes us to wait, and not press on?  Fear of the future?  Do we avoid success? Are we too cowardly to face uncertainty, rather surrounding ourselves with the familiar and safe?

Do not die inside, wondering what could be, before you've ever set your eyes forward and fought to your goal.