Self: Realized

"Self-realization is an expression used in psychology, spirituality and Eastern religions. The basic premise of self-realization is that there exists an authentic self which has to be discovered by psychological or spiritual self-striving. Self-realization can be a gradual or instantaneous phenomena depending on the school of thought but in all cases it involves extensive preparation of mind and emotions to recognize self-realization when it occurs. 

Self-realization is a maturing of the ego or personality to accept its own evanescence and thus allow space for the true Self to reveal itself. The moon veiled by clouds is an apt metaphor for the Self's apparent absence in our everyday lives. The dissolution of the ego's obsessive, internal pre-occupations with its psycho-somatic complexes frees the psyche's energy to directly experience Reality of the world as it is, free of any assumptions." 

What do you really know about yourself?  To be perfectly honest, most of us live sedentary lives that don't allow for much physical or mental strain.  Life is actually easy when you think about it.  We aren't threatened with physical harm, most of us aren't starving (especially U.S. citizens, where most of us are overweight) and there isn't much desire to push beyond what we experience on a daily basis.  We are content with our homes and families, poor health and improper diets.  We are at ease with sub-par education, lackluster dreams, ironic reality shows, conceited, self-gratifying social icons and money hoarding corporations to the point that we can't see how negatively they affect us.  On and on, we plod through life, sadly apathetic to what is surrounding us.  We are accepting misery.

There was a time when people were aware of what was at stake.  We took a stand for family, friends and God.  All people, not just the so-called Black people (a misnomer still, that I will always shun).  Our neighborhoods were solid, and we looked out for one another.  Now, we seem to mistrust ourselves and live is fear of each other.  We prey on each other, robbing, hurting, even killing those that are in the same predicament.  Then, we say we want better, but only show our worst sides.  Truly, it is like we don't want to be more, it is like we accept that we can only be less.  The government herds us into "projects" as to keep us from those parts of the city that are reserved for the more educated, privileged individuals.  How can one ignore this?  Is it just in the mind of an individual to resign to defeat, simply because of his situation?

I am saddened.  Today I see myself returning to the best of who I am, reclaiming my mind and body from the  edge of insanity.  To do this, my spirit speaks to my soul and they cooperate, unified, to work towards this goal.  It has been a long time since I've been so clear in my thoughts, but being self-realized grants this attribute.  I cannot go back; will not go back.  In 2001, I achieved this state prematurely, only to lose it in my immaturity and confusion.  This time, I will follow this path to the end.  I will speak up for those who have no voice.  I will show that injustice exists.  I will maintain healthy balance.  I will show others how to come into themselves and overcome.

Have you done your best?  Tried your best?  Even if it is not your best, have you tried at all?  What do you think you are? Who do you think you are?  These questions need to be answered.  I encourage you to find out.

God sings, and I hear Him.  I hear Him.  There is nothing like this feeling.

Compromise

Should never be willing to compromise your dreams for anyone, especially if that person is not willing to give anything of themselves to constitute a true compromise. I am still traveling, doing, working, watching and just being...so I have much to learn. However, it doesn't take being 70 years-old to see what mistakes you've made, what things to avoid and how to progress towards your goal. With age comes wisdom, but one should be able to refer to the wisdom of others to gain guidance. The Bible is a great, living tool that people overlook these days because they think that this society has outgrown its words. But, even as our society changes, the principles outlined in the Bible will always respond to the human condition. There is nothing new under the sun, and the same things we faced back then, man is still facing today. In walking towards your dreams, don't forget to lean on that ancient wisdom for support. All of us need help, but don't be so stubborn that you think you know everything. Blessings be upon you.

Paralysis

There are things that eat at you. Things that strip away your soul, bit by terrified bit, swallowing it piece by delightful piece. These issues wait for times of weakness, where we feel lost and uncentered. This is when they do the most damage. It's not like we can do anything. We've already primed our lives for the killing stroke: we can only but await the agony that comes with it.

I allow myself to lose a battle that should already have been won. I follow the weak routes of life and gather the softness that cripples me little by little, smoothing the rough edges of my soul that were never meant to be tempered. I am killing my desires, crushing my soul. Bleeding it dry, as the greatest enemy I have ever known. I am living on my knees.

I see men that have taken life and made it but a toy. They revel in it and make it obey them, or so it seems. So it looks. I can't understand the madness as it is, yet they have somehow done much more than I can. They have conquered something and claimed ownership. I find myself becoming a coward.

I am beckoned to a place of majesty, a kingship, that cannot be granted to anyone. It must be snatched or taken. I must prove that I am the one that deserves such glory. I must make this life mine and shape it so that it defines my dreams.

May God see me through. I need His strength to conquer this personalized paralysis. It's a blight, a sickening darkness that clouds my mind and casts a shade over the light in my soul.

The night drags on. Seems as it is like a dream. Maybe I am imagining this all, and I am a thought in God's head. Maybe that thought is his dream.

No Reason To Live A Lie

Someone out there has to be tired of living a lie. Tired of feeling empty, following hollow dreams that lead to other types of futility. You have to be fed up with the world and the way it mocks you and scoffs at you. The lies are right in front of our faces, and we just accept them like we're puppets, dancing and shuffling about with a hand up our back. You don't even know who's hand it is, but someone's prodding you along...

Each time you react in anger or cower in fear, that hand is grabbing hold and tossing you about. Everytime you have an argument and hide behind your pride, there's the puppetmaster, moving his fingers and making you do that dance. And you can't even see it, because you think the puppetmaster is you. You think that you're the one with the anger and the fear, yelling and screaming at anything that opposes you. And most of you will defend to the death your right to shout and curse and deliver your opinion upon others in such a way that causes division and separation. You want to be right. You're right and they're wrong.

I'm here to say that it isn't you, but it is that thief of life- your ego- that causes you to become lost to the Truth God has given us. God is the giver of love and not confusion, so these arguments are foolish to him. Your anger and pride is unwarranted. These things are false projections of the ego in an attempt to protect itself. It wants to preserve the illusion. Maybe you can refer to it as the devil or a demon. Either way, it destroys your life from the inside, controlling how you think, what you do and what you say.

There is still time to shift our present state of awareness from one that is fearful, to one that is of love. Jesus asked us to forgive as many times as it takes, no matter the circumstances. We must surrender our foolish thoughts and tendencies in order to enter the truth of love and understanding. We must leave behind the idea that all truth is relative as well, because that is nothing but a precursor to chaos. I tell you there is but one Truth, and it is the beauty of God through love and forgiveness. Surrender your heart to Him, so that He may heal you and so you may heal others.

May God bless you in your journey towards the Truth.

The Beautiful Walk

The beauty of life is yours to behold.

On my daily walks I take time to notice everything around me, with reverance and love. With each step I take, there is peace and serenity. I have no problems in these moments. There is no fear. There is only love and the feeling of God all around and within me.

I have taken to the habit of using prayer beads as I walk, holding them in my hands and running my fingers across them, one by one. Slowly I turn them and feel the texture, and I am filled again with peace. It is not even happiness, or joy. Just something greater that I can only truly decribe as serenity. The beads are as a key is to a door: they help to open my heart to God so that I can receive his Word.

My pastor would call this "quiet time". I find the more time I take, the more I desire to be with Him. It seems that time is still in these moments, and I can only give thanks and atone for my sins. These moments are of love and truth, which is the only reality that exists for us. All other things are just lies and fantasies that mar God's instructions for our lives.

Take care to feel His presence daily.

REVOLVER Revisited

There’s no such thing as problems, Mr. Green. Only situations. – Avi
You only get smarter by playing a smarter opponent. – Mr. Green

The art is for me to feed pieces to you and make you believe you took those pieces…because you’re smarter and I’m dumber.

The more sophisticated the game, the more sophisticated the opponent.
Place your opponent in an arena you can control. The bigger the space, the easier the control. The more that can be controlled.

They either think the game can’t be that old, or it can’t be that big.

The opponent distracts the victim by getting him consumed with his own consumption.
You will always find a good opponent in the very last place you will ever look.

Use any means possible to induce head pain and engage the enemy.


Imagine that you are using a computer. You input commands in order to make the computer do what you want. You create words, play games and even watch movies. You use it as a tool to accomplish everyday tasks. It is just a means to an end.

Our brain is like this computer. We use it to perform tasks. We remember things and our memory serves to help us navigate this world. Whether the task is easy or difficult, we still use our brain to figure out things. It experiences things that we experience. It calculates the changes that we must make in order not to be hurt. The pleasure we feel is recorded. It rides with us. Like our best friend, it is always there with us.
But the brain is not us. The mind is not us. It can never be. It is just a tool, like the computer. It must be used for certain things, and then put away when it is not needed.

For instance, if you become angry at something, it is usually a reaction that has an origin in fear. You become angry because you think someone either meant to offend you or the action bothered you enough to cause you physical distress. Your mind puts up a defense to protect you. It wants to answer in anger, and often does. It wants to react. But if you ask the question, “Why am I angry?” the reaction then becomes a choice. You are then choosing to react to this issue: choosing to become angry or not. In the interest of personal peace, it is probably best to choose peace than anger.

Did you know you had a choice? Would you choose peace over anger? Your mind would have you think that you need to retaliate to hurt those that hurt you. Any perceived offense is a means for the mind to lash out and defend or protect, solidifying our dependence upon it. But the mind is not protecting you. It is protecting itself to keep itself in use. To feed the façade that it actually exists.

What I am trying to tell you is that YOUR MIND IS YOUR ENEMY because ALL YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE ALLOWED IT TO EXIST WITHIN THE FANTASY THAT IT IS YOU. You feed it each day. And each day it becomes stronger.

Learning to see what’s real and what is false is the next step. It is what some people would call enlightenment and the path to God. The knowing that those negative reactions are not truly you, will give you the power to part the veil and see the shame of the world.

Jake Green: "There is something about yourself that you don't know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it's too late to do anything about it. It's the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I'm special. We share an addiction. We're approval junkies. We're all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin' rah. Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we're just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others."