I am supposed to be wise. I'm supposed be a better man. A greater "thinker" with above average skills and bright expectations. I'm supposed to be...
What could I do now, that I haven't done? I'm at odds with my self, my heart battling my mind. Always seems that I would let my heart win, but they've fought to a stalemate. Interesting and unnerving all the same, I falsify my ability to disregard and act like I don't care. Trouble is, I do, but not for the same reasons I used to...
Different man. Different meanings. Maybe I am just lost in the trouble I have found myself in. SO BRUTAL.
At least I'm creating again. That makes me extremely happy.
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Trapped in the Matrix
I am hoping most of you have seen the movie, The Matrix. Maybe some of you haven’t seen it, possibly because it is sci-fi and you just don’t dig the genre. Maybe because you just don’t care for Keanu Reeves. Whatever the reason, I recommend it not because of the action, but because of its underlying philosophy. The Matrix challenges us to question the lives we are really living. Are we just sheep lead to the slaughter, walking through life with our heads down simply ignoring the truth of what is going on around us? Can we take charge of our real lives, the REALITY of ourselves, and travel the path towards mental freedom? The red pill or the blue pill? The choice is obvious, if we only recognize what the truth is…
The character Cypher in the movie represented the part of us that would rather accept the façade and live in ignorance of the truth. He betrays the cause that Neo is leading because he can’t deal with the pain that is revealed when the true path is taken. He thinks that living the lie is better. Is that how the majority of the world will feel? Are we so vain and ego-centric that we would prefer the lie over the truth? Sadly I think it is so…
But what happens when we begin to see the truth, and we embrace the hard path that Jesus walked? I have begun to look and recognize the part of myself that is false, and challenge it. Each day I make steps to dismantle my ego thoughts and diffuse them, which is to say, become aware of them. I recognize the ego thoughts that come because they are crazy and full of fear, doubt, sadness and anger. These ego thoughts do nothing but cloud the realness of who we are, and make life much harder to live with those around us.
Why do you think there is so much war and poverty and suffering? We suffer because of our egos and the by-products loosed from their manifestation. Jesus asked us to “die to ourselves” so that we may embrace the path he had taken. This death is refusing what the ego shows us and becoming aware of the veil it has draped over our lives. We must fight ourselves to become ourselves, which is no easy task. Yet it must be done.
Think about all the pain you have dealt with. Have you let it go? Do you still react to it? Does it still cause you to lash out in anger at others? Has it affected your relationships? If it has, then you will need to reevaluate your life and ask God to intercede so that you can let those situations go and forgive. The one thing God says for us to do is to forgive as He has forgiven us, and we will find freedom. Yet, we refuse to live that way. We hold onto it all and bury it down deep till it poisons us and all the relationships in our lives. We must get past this and become better people by recognizing our ego thoughts and challenging them. Those thought do not originate from the real you. The real you is free and clear and beautiful, not bitter and hateful and angry.
Please search your hearts and you will find what I say to be true.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Killing or Murder- Greater Sin or Acceptable in God's Eyes?
Riddle me this, Batman: is killing wrong, or is it murder that is wrong? If we kill some one in self defense, is it still wrong? Does it matter that Jesus said to "turn the other cheek"?
Matthew 5:39 reads: "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."
The words of Jesus Christ. Yet, my father would tell me that killing is ok and murder is not. Jesus doesn't draw a distinction. The 10 Commandments also state that "Thou shalt not kill". So am I to believe that one is more acceptable than the other? Doesn't the Bible say that no sin is greater than another? James 2:10 states that: "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Does this scripture not mean that any sin you commit you are just as culpable as though you broke them all?
If there is someone who can shed greater light on this, go ahead. I would like to know if I am misinterpreting something. My father swears up and down that "murder" is what the Commandments refer to, and not "killing". Once again, Jesus doesn't draw that distinction.
Thoughts?
Matthew 5:39 reads: "But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also."
The words of Jesus Christ. Yet, my father would tell me that killing is ok and murder is not. Jesus doesn't draw a distinction. The 10 Commandments also state that "Thou shalt not kill". So am I to believe that one is more acceptable than the other? Doesn't the Bible say that no sin is greater than another? James 2:10 states that: "For whoever keeps the whole law and yet stumbles at just one point is guilty of breaking all of it." Does this scripture not mean that any sin you commit you are just as culpable as though you broke them all?
If there is someone who can shed greater light on this, go ahead. I would like to know if I am misinterpreting something. My father swears up and down that "murder" is what the Commandments refer to, and not "killing". Once again, Jesus doesn't draw that distinction.
Thoughts?
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Dragon
If it then ended, snuffing out
The last of the embers and ash
Working past the present mind and
Collapsing in on a deserted future
I wouldn’t be angry. “I thought you’d be
Different. You were so unlike the others.”
Yet recall your suppositions came before you
Really knew me, hardly knew yourself, not remarkable
And thick-headed enough, your skin soft
And my demeanor rough
The prey and the dragon like a tragedy told
The beautiful maiden, the serpent and gold.
I began free and I leave the same
If you must remember me, forget my name.
The last of the embers and ash
Working past the present mind and
Collapsing in on a deserted future
I wouldn’t be angry. “I thought you’d be
Different. You were so unlike the others.”
Yet recall your suppositions came before you
Really knew me, hardly knew yourself, not remarkable
And thick-headed enough, your skin soft
And my demeanor rough
The prey and the dragon like a tragedy told
The beautiful maiden, the serpent and gold.
I began free and I leave the same
If you must remember me, forget my name.
LIBERATION!
There is hope. There is always hope to become greater and better than one is; to move beyond what you have been to what you can be.
If any of you have ever watched the NBC comedy, “Community”, you may have seen the black guy named Troy. His real name is Donald Glover, and I think he has single handedly restored my faith in my abilities as an artist.
One of my friends (GC lePresh) had me check out someone called “Childish Gambino” and to tell me what I thought about him. Lo and behold, it was Donald Glover’s rapper persona. Seems this guy has been rapping for a few years now, apparently just for fun. What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t even need the money. He just does it because he wants to; because it makes him happy. He has about 3 EPs (one actually named, “EP”) and 3 albums under the Childish Gambino moniker. He also produces beats under the name mcDJ. One of the albums he produced is called “Sick Boi”, in which is raps sounding congested or like he has a cold. How refreshing is that? Who does that? Even more amazing he made it sound dope.
His creativity is what amazes me most. I think I have been stifled so much that I was reaching to be like someone else. Glover is not trying to be anyone, as I see it. It’s more like he is experimenting with what he thinks is cool. He's experimenting with himself. I can really relate to that. And yesterday, as I sat and thought about who Donald was and what he’s done, I again began to believe that I have an ambition that urges to burst forth.
I was trying to paint something to look like him or so and so, and not really expressing the full scope of my creativity. I sat at my easel yesterday tentatively painting and struggling through my newest creation, and I it suddenly became apparent that I was the one in control of the piece. At once I understood that every stroke was completely my own and no one can say that they have done what I did. The work belonged to ME and ONLY ME. In that moment tears welled up in my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably. It was like I had been in a darkened room and someone flipped the light switch on. Such an overwhelming emotion it was, that I stop working and thank God for his insight and love.
Childish Gambino. His free spirit freed my own. I need to thank this dude somehow. I am self-realized and liberated. Now and until I die.
If any of you have ever watched the NBC comedy, “Community”, you may have seen the black guy named Troy. His real name is Donald Glover, and I think he has single handedly restored my faith in my abilities as an artist.
One of my friends (GC lePresh) had me check out someone called “Childish Gambino” and to tell me what I thought about him. Lo and behold, it was Donald Glover’s rapper persona. Seems this guy has been rapping for a few years now, apparently just for fun. What’s even more interesting is that he doesn’t even need the money. He just does it because he wants to; because it makes him happy. He has about 3 EPs (one actually named, “EP”) and 3 albums under the Childish Gambino moniker. He also produces beats under the name mcDJ. One of the albums he produced is called “Sick Boi”, in which is raps sounding congested or like he has a cold. How refreshing is that? Who does that? Even more amazing he made it sound dope.
His creativity is what amazes me most. I think I have been stifled so much that I was reaching to be like someone else. Glover is not trying to be anyone, as I see it. It’s more like he is experimenting with what he thinks is cool. He's experimenting with himself. I can really relate to that. And yesterday, as I sat and thought about who Donald was and what he’s done, I again began to believe that I have an ambition that urges to burst forth.
I was trying to paint something to look like him or so and so, and not really expressing the full scope of my creativity. I sat at my easel yesterday tentatively painting and struggling through my newest creation, and I it suddenly became apparent that I was the one in control of the piece. At once I understood that every stroke was completely my own and no one can say that they have done what I did. The work belonged to ME and ONLY ME. In that moment tears welled up in my eyes, and I wept uncontrollably. It was like I had been in a darkened room and someone flipped the light switch on. Such an overwhelming emotion it was, that I stop working and thank God for his insight and love.
Childish Gambino. His free spirit freed my own. I need to thank this dude somehow. I am self-realized and liberated. Now and until I die.
Friday, March 18, 2011
Meditation (Selah)
“Thus meditating you will no longer strive to build yourself up in your prejudices, but, forgetting self, you will remember only that you are seeking the Truth.” - James Allen
I don't know about you, but meditation has become a daily practice. It is part of my daily discipline now because it allows me to focus inward instead of outward, so that I can leave the worries of the day and give myself sometime with God. Truly sitting down and having "quiet time" as my pastor says, is a form of meditation, but I take it a step further. I meditate like a Buddhist would...
I will tell you why. Even though I am a Christian, I find that there are things that can be utilized from all sorts of cultures that are effective tools to foster spiritual growth and development. Meditation is no different. If you recall, Jesus went into the wilderness and was tempted by the devil. What do you think he was doing when the devil came upon him? He was meditating on the Word of God.
Many people may think this is mysticism but I see it as nothing more than a process that invites me to a special relationship with Jesus. To commune with the One True God and feel his presence all around is a fantastic experience!
Check out the book called, Spiritual Liberation by Michael Bernard Beckwith. He gives some pretty good instruction on how to utilize your true being and find peace within God's presence. I can't say I agree with all his points, but I do find much of what he says very useful in growing and maturing spiritually.
If you read Psalms, you will see the word "selah" throughout (71 times to be exact). It likely means, "pause and calmly think on this" or "meditate on this" (it is defined as other things, because it is not a very proper translation in Hebrew). The power of meditation is known in the Bible and throughout the world. Don't be afraid to sit and be quiet for a little bit each day and just give God thanks. I mean, doesn't He deserve that time and appreciation? Don't you deserve to be closer to Him?
Psalms 62:8
"Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."
I don't know about you, but meditation has become a daily practice. It is part of my daily discipline now because it allows me to focus inward instead of outward, so that I can leave the worries of the day and give myself sometime with God. Truly sitting down and having "quiet time" as my pastor says, is a form of meditation, but I take it a step further. I meditate like a Buddhist would...
I will tell you why. Even though I am a Christian, I find that there are things that can be utilized from all sorts of cultures that are effective tools to foster spiritual growth and development. Meditation is no different. If you recall, Jesus went into the wilderness and was tempted by the devil. What do you think he was doing when the devil came upon him? He was meditating on the Word of God.
Many people may think this is mysticism but I see it as nothing more than a process that invites me to a special relationship with Jesus. To commune with the One True God and feel his presence all around is a fantastic experience!
Check out the book called, Spiritual Liberation by Michael Bernard Beckwith. He gives some pretty good instruction on how to utilize your true being and find peace within God's presence. I can't say I agree with all his points, but I do find much of what he says very useful in growing and maturing spiritually.
If you read Psalms, you will see the word "selah" throughout (71 times to be exact). It likely means, "pause and calmly think on this" or "meditate on this" (it is defined as other things, because it is not a very proper translation in Hebrew). The power of meditation is known in the Bible and throughout the world. Don't be afraid to sit and be quiet for a little bit each day and just give God thanks. I mean, doesn't He deserve that time and appreciation? Don't you deserve to be closer to Him?
Psalms 62:8
"Trust in him at all times; ye people, pour out your heart before him: God is a refuge for us. Selah."
Monday, March 7, 2011
Can't Force It
All the love I wish to know, I have known long enough to know
That deserved love is not earned love and sometimes it won’t show
What you can’t get or don’t want or wish from the other
You can attempt to borrow from the affections of another
You can fuss and cuss, stomp and fight or throw fits
Still won’t be able to get back all that was missed
The love goes on, with or without lips to kiss or hands to hold
Love will sometimes burn itself into your very soul
A sacred scar that you will carry for the length of your years
To be tormented or uplifted, you will not escape the tears
So listen to the words I give, I hope you understand too
Even though you love someone you can’t make them love you.
That deserved love is not earned love and sometimes it won’t show
What you can’t get or don’t want or wish from the other
You can attempt to borrow from the affections of another
You can fuss and cuss, stomp and fight or throw fits
Still won’t be able to get back all that was missed
The love goes on, with or without lips to kiss or hands to hold
Love will sometimes burn itself into your very soul
A sacred scar that you will carry for the length of your years
To be tormented or uplifted, you will not escape the tears
So listen to the words I give, I hope you understand too
Even though you love someone you can’t make them love you.
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