A Phi A on the Yard!

I love my A Phi A. I truly do. Really being an old dog know, I have a
profound appreciation for my brotherhood. No matter the year, it is deep
in my heart, ingrained, chiseled, in the immortal walls of my soul. I
will never forget my what transpired for me as well as those that follow
my footsteps. I am glad to know these brothers who continue to walk
onward and upward toward the light.

So much has changed, and yet it remains the same. Back on Millikin's
campus, it's almost as if I don't recognize it. New buildings, new
businesses and new faces...so wonderful to see. Looks as if Decatur's
trying to become a true college town. Outstanding! Alas I am troubled
because Rich Dunsworth and many of his cohorts are threatening what we
have established here with A Phi A, and all we will do in the future.

I know my frat is strong and will always endure, but it looks like other
people are standing in our way. After speaking with the bruhs on the
yard, I find it really imperative that we see what needs to be done...

I love all my brothers, and I know that I will see many of you today.
Come represent and show your support if you can. 06!
Bro. Trenchant, Fall '97, Theta Omicron Chapter.
Marcelle D. Ward

The World Will Explode

The world is gonna explode, can't you feel the rumbling now,
foundations rattling like a ziploc half-full of teeth, streets look like
crags and mountain peaks? Where people don't walk, they can only climb,
preoccupied with the hustle, the hardship, the prison of the mind?

The boom, the blast will be too big to be heard, likely we won't know
when it's time, there will be no words broadcasts will be terminated,
pictures lost behind the glass, perpetually frightened that the next
breath will be the last.

No heights to be reached, no more wealth to gain, no cost for selfish
thoughts to further a name, cause the world is gonna explode in a fiery
blaze, to raze the land from the demon's hand and banish him to his
cage.

Where will the children gather then, their playtime arrested, their
happiness removed, their future ingested, carrying the seeds of hope for
an unmarked cemetery of blackened dust and smoking incendiary?

The world WILL explode, and only God knows which path will open, who
will walk which road, the chosen few, the forsaken mass, but the last
shall be first and the first shall be last. The world WILL explode, but
here is the key: I can live for Christ because He died for me.
Marcelle D. Ward

The Triple L (Love Life Left)

I used to love what I thought was love like I needed love to love
myself, but the heat of love brought deceit in love now there isn't any
love life left.

A ring, a ring on your bones, encircling a digit, remarkably clinging to
me as it did your own, a ring so I was undone. No stones to fret your
fiendish intellect spent wrapped around a notion that held my potential
in esteem: you dreamt big. Hiding your ugliness under satin and perfume,
I learned never to throw pearls to a pig.

I sing of joyous reunion though, a miracle in crossing my past to grab a
future mine, seeking syllables and phrases to repay you in kind, in
time. Settle for silence and guesswork, the remnants of my furniture
and dress shirts, pieces of mail, old rags, to drape about the hovel of
a lovely nag; a lonely hag.

As we part lastly these words spring forth, bursting and splashing my
screen like water bombs and prolific colorful dreams all-in-one, knowing
a pitiful scheme left with other crippled fellows who knew you well but
vanished the same, I believe I played that same game. Yet you have not
figured it out, and in that I hold pity; in that there is shame.

I used to love what I thought was love like I needed love to love
myself, but the heat of love brought deceit in love now there isn't any
love life left.

Keep it regular, and don't be no sucka...
Marcelle D. Ward

Freedom to Dream

I am about to free myself. Gonna put myself in a hole, a dark cavern of
sightless songs to witness the flight of an eagle before im all gone and
used up. I seek release and freedom is the spark, the arrow, the reason
to embark upon a path to dream, again.

I am going to set my shoulders with a pair of wings and call myself away
from the earthen walk and follow the message in the clouds. I will
gather nothing and want for less, so I won't have to miss a thing. Call
it an ascent, a skyward gaze from a pit of disastrous change, coughing
its sickness.

I am about culture advanced, a subtle dance that lacks form but is
masterful in grace. Freedom in the mind makes for teaching the untaught,
having patience to gift another and perfect love. I am seeing freedom in
my hands holding a phone texting a blog to an unsuspecting few that will
be blessed...
Marcelle D. Ward

The Life of Choices

Making the right choices in life can often be a confusing thing. Seems
we have so many distractions and influences that even a simple decision
as to what to eat might become a tad frustrating. How do we know what
decisions are the right ones? How can we be sure that we are making
monumental mistakes?

Checking our choices and lining them up with God's word will eliminate
that frustration. Will the decision harm anyone? Can you be sure that
you can tell people you love and it will be in agreement with them?
Asking questions like these will help. I can definitely say that I have
made many mistakes, and I like to take risks. Yet, often they have been
decisions that God and my family would disagree with.

It's okay to make mistakes, because that's how we learn. Mistakes don't
have to be repeated, though. Take time and be thorough with what you
decide, especially if you know it will influence others. Consult the
Bible and line everything up with what's good and true, and you may be
on your way to happier results and greater benefits.

Love God, love yourself and each other. You can't go wrong.

Help

I am staying with a friend from work until I can leave for Illinois. So, I am in limbo now, figuratively homeless, hoping that God and I can meet the challenge of reshaping my life once again. Many of you know of my struggle, and have at least lent me your prayers. I thank and commend you for being true friends.

Tonight I was thinking it would be a good time to pray and talk with the Lord. It was an easy thought, given the situation. Yet and still, something remarkable happened. First, as I have said many times before, there is no such thing as coincidence. Second, this is just evidence of God's presence. I was feeling really nervous about my future, uncertain I had made the right choice. Skeptical of what had transpired over the past few days and my ultimate position, I reached for God for assurance.

I felt compelled to seek a Bible verse that would be perfect for my situation. Of course, I had no idea which. Psalms came to mind, but there are quite a few of those. Which one to pick? Well, the number 121 immediately came to mind and I pondered, "What would this one say? I bet it will be perfect for me..." True enough, it was right on target. I had no idea what to look for, but the Spirit of God moved me to the right choice because I trusted in Him. Definitely no coincidence here, God is SO good to give me an answer like this.


Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?

2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Leaving: The Prodigal Son

"Follow the path that has heart. All roads lead to the same destination, but follow the path that has heart."

I read that yesterday, from a friend reminding me of who I am and where I've been. I recall reading those words years ago, before I left for Washington, in a book entitled The Teachings of Don Juan: A Yaqui Way of Knowledge. Those aren't the exact words, but they are close enough. I have mentioned this book quite a few times in my writings, because it had a significant impact on me. Seems I've been away for so long and my mind has been on so many things, that I just lose the focus of what it all means. I'm sure we all have episodes such as this.

I regret that I must leave here, putting behind me many wonderful and beautiful situations and experiences. It is shameful to have to do such at this time, but I have no other choice. The unfortunate times that have arisen make for difficult decisions, though I am no stranger to such. I look to God and follow a path that is intended for very few. Many who know God will acknowledge that if you don't listen to what He asks of you, He will make you listen one way or another. The prodigal son will return once more...

This time is of mourning and celebration; of decay and resurrection. I have much to do in the next year and I hope to God that I am able, for I feel some great things welling up in my spirit. I guess I find jubilation in that fact. God is good, you know?

Another friend reminded me that as we continue to do the same thing and expect different results, we should be dubbed insane. Doesn't that sound insane? Believe me, that's the perfect definition. It's time to celebrate the new, and get back to my roots in Illinois. God awaits.

If you are my friends and you read this, maybe you'll laugh. Maybe you'll have a bit of pity on me. Or maybe we won't be friends at all anymore. The only thing that really matters though is God and what He wants of me.


Let me keep this blog going, for real.