Equity

“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift you as wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith may not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.” ~Luke 22:31-32


Here, Jesus is having a conversation with Simon Peter about Satan's proposal to do him harm within his life. Jesus says that he will pray for Simon so that he will not fail. This would normally set one at ease, but Jesus then says "and when you have turned back...". This means that he knows that Simon will fail, but in that failure, he must bring strength to his brothers so that they may not fail.

In our experiences, we are meant to learn. In learning we can give instruction to those who may encounter that which we have already witnessed. Jesus is asking Simon Peter to become a witness to others, so that God is glorified even in the failure.

Many people feel that they should make known all of their accomplishments to show how good God is, but it is in our weaknesses that God shows his strength. It is in our failures that God is given glory, for we can say that we are better than we were. We have gleaned the equity from the situation and can convey the beauty of the lesson to those who would come after us.

There is no likely sadness more profound that the failure of one's greatest ambition. I find that it is difficult to picture my life cascading towards a world where I cannot do the art I was meant to do.

I saw my best friend's sister today, and she has the same gifts I do. However, she isn't really using them. Sometimes I wonder why she let it go, or if she ever picks up a pencil every now and then. I can't imagine what I'd feel like if I couldn't create. I think I'd rather die than live without my talents. I hope that God sees fit to allow me to keep them so that I can bring blessings to all.

How strange it would be. How strange I would feel. I could only imagine such emptiness. It would be like unplugging a lamp or cutting the petals off of a rose.

Through Devotion and Art

Holding on to nothing, I will be able to gain everything...

There are great worlds to visit, through devotion and art. There is God and love, granting light to this dark world. Even so, you cannot escape yourself.

Dealing with the inner man is the only thing that can save you from destruction. It is the only thing that will allow you to embrace God. Releasing your mind from the prison that the world has surrounded you with, will grant change and transformation.

Great worlds to visit. God is waiting on each path, to each world. Through art and devotion I find my way home, creating the steps toward resolution. But you must let go of your pain, release your reliance on worldly things. Discover the impermanence in all, so that you can be free.

Wisdom: The domain of the wise

I am supposed to be wise. I'm supposed be a better man. A greater "thinker" with above average skills and bright expectations. I'm supposed to be...

What could I do now, that I haven't done? I'm at odds with my self, my heart battling my mind. Always seems that I would let my heart win, but they've fought to a stalemate. Interesting and unnerving all the same, I falsify my ability to disregard and act like I don't care. Trouble is, I do, but not for the same reasons I used to...

Different man. Different meanings. Maybe I am just lost in the trouble I have found myself in. SO BRUTAL.

At least I'm creating again. That makes me extremely happy.